Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Dear Shifra isn't the only one who gets mail you know, I also gets loads of email.

I love the attention of course, but it's the same things over and over again.

And it's getting OLD, people!

The women want to know how to be like me, or hate me for for being beautiful - like on that Pantene commercial (both the shampoo AND the commercials are both personal faves!)

Some men who write me want to give me mussar while the rest just want me!
And I don't know what's worse! Nebach. Totally.

Anyway, if you wrote to me and I didn't answer you, I want to say I'm sorry.
I have a life you know and I can't spend all day on the computer like some of you.

Men: based on the emails I've received from you I don't think there is ANYTHING I could possibly write here the would help you except maybe to tell you to get off the computer, take a shower, and give your wife some attention. If you paid half as much attention to her as you do to blogging or sending me email, and made her feel a little better about herself, then maybe she could be a Hot Chanie too someday (maybe!)

So here are some tips from yours truly for the ladies.

Looking good IS my job and it should be yours as well. It takes time and effort, and yes money, but aren't you worth it?! (another commercial!)

1. Comfortable is not fashionable.

Snoods might be comfortable (the only time I ever wore one was in the maternity ward giving birth and believe me I was NOT comfortable!) and tichels might be the in thing but ladies (and trust me on this) you do NOT look good look good in snoods or tichels. You look like you belong in a hospital or a nursing home. Check out your shoes too, rubber soles are a total no-no unless you're at the gym (and I hope you work out at the gum at least twice a week, as Hot Chanie does).

2. I HAVE to ask, why do so many Frum women look like they are stuck in the 80's?

Don't you know that NO ONE is wearing a bob with thick bangs anymore? Shoulder pads? Boxy Cardigans? Blazers? Blue eyeliner? Come ON people. If you don't feel comfortable in anything but a sack then PLEASE get some help. I'd give you the name of my personal trainer, but she's booked till after Pesach (can you say F-L-O-R-I-D-A?)

Pick up a few fashion magazines to flip through while you work out. Sure a lot of the fashions are anything but tznius but with a little imagination you can "make it work." DH makes fun of me for subscribing to so many magazines - he says they are all the same! But that doesn't seem to stop him from checking them out when he thinks I'm not looking!

OK I have to go now. Keep emailing, but at least please TRY to be interesting.

Have a wonderful shabbos!


Hot Chanie

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Who is Hot Chanie?

Prey Tell!
Show and Tell.
William Tell.
For whom the blog tells.
If the Bible tells you so (fav song)
Every Picture tells a story.

There are so many posts I want to write, but I really have to take the kids to soccer practice now.

Do you know how hard it is writing this blog AND being married to Jack?



Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Blogosphere Bad Actors?

And we know who HE is. I've been lurking around for a while,
and I've found that there's only who who is so full of, himself, and
that directs derogatory invective towards everyone not on his
current short list of friends.

Some say that he is masquerading as me, but I don't believe he's nearly
that clever.

The easiest way to discern between us, is that I shower regularly.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Better Red than Dead?

It isn't an easy task keeping up with PsychoToddler (tm).

Seems like everywhere I go, he just has to name-drop, "What would Hot-Chanie (tm) say?" And my latest best friend (also tm, credit to my blog hero, the Renegade Rebbitzen, may she return to blogging soon, bimheira biyameinu. But the point of this was to show that I'm giving CREDIT where credit is due, unlike my non-best-friend, and totally awful actor of the entire Blogosphere DovWeaselie, or DovieWeasel, or whatever his name is. But that's not the point of this.) RaggedyMom, I really feel for her, since this posting is basically because of her.

See, underneath my obviously hot sheitel, is more blonde hair. Yet, RaggedyMom strikes me as a redhead. The following article from Yedioth Achronoth sent to me by an Israeli reader who wishes to remain anonymous (though let's just say he has a rather unique name) really got my goat.

Kosher haredi dress: Nix everything tight or red

Posters hung throughout Bnei Brak urge women to only buy loose-fitting clothes, avoid red colored garbs. Increasingly popular secular fashions worrying rabbis who respond with battle to cover bulges .

The posters call for women to only purchase clothes from the 30 approved stores as these establishments comply with the strict laws and regulations of haredi religion. (Apparently,
this was also mentioned on chic-blogger Orthomom's site as well)

So what's a dear like RaggedyMom supposed to do? Dye her hair (and sheitel) techeiles-blue? Perhaps royal mishkan-purple? Get a different sheitel that's not red? How dreadful!

RaggedyMom, all I can offer you is my bracha that you and your husband enjoy your red hair. If anyone starts up with you, just let me know.

Hot Chanie can handle almost anyone or anything, let alone a redophobic bully.