EMAIL!

Dear Shifra isn't the only one who gets mail you know, I also gets loads of email.

I love the attention of course, but it's the same things over and over again.

And it's getting OLD, people!

The women want to know how to be like me, or hate me for for being beautiful - like on that Pantene commercial (both the shampoo AND the commercials are both personal faves!)

Some men who write me want to give me mussar while the rest just want me!
And I don't know what's worse! Nebach. Totally.

Anyway, if you wrote to me and I didn't answer you, I want to say I'm sorry.
I have a life you know and I can't spend all day on the computer like some of you.

Men: based on the emails I've received from you I don't think there is ANYTHING I could possibly write here the would help you except maybe to tell you to get off the computer, take a shower, and give your wife some attention. If you paid half as much attention to her as you do to blogging or sending me email, and made her feel a little better about herself, then maybe she could be a Hot Chanie too someday (maybe!)

So here are some tips from yours truly for the ladies.

Looking good IS my job and it should be yours as well. It takes time and effort, and yes money, but aren't you worth it?! (another commercial!)

1. Comfortable is not fashionable.

Snoods might be comfortable (the only time I ever wore one was in the maternity ward giving birth and believe me I was NOT comfortable!) and tichels might be the in thing but ladies (and trust me on this) you do NOT look good look good in snoods or tichels. You look like you belong in a hospital or a nursing home. Check out your shoes too, rubber soles are a total no-no unless you're at the gym (and I hope you work out at the gum at least twice a week, as Hot Chanie does).

2. I HAVE to ask, why do so many Frum women look like they are stuck in the 80's?

Don't you know that NO ONE is wearing a bob with thick bangs anymore? Shoulder pads? Boxy Cardigans? Blazers? Blue eyeliner? Come ON people. If you don't feel comfortable in anything but a sack then PLEASE get some help. I'd give you the name of my personal trainer, but she's booked till after Pesach (can you say F-L-O-R-I-D-A?)

Pick up a few fashion magazines to flip through while you work out. Sure a lot of the fashions are anything but tznius but with a little imagination you can "make it work." DH makes fun of me for subscribing to so many magazines - he says they are all the same! But that doesn't seem to stop him from checking them out when he thinks I'm not looking!

OK I have to go now. Keep emailing, but at least please TRY to be interesting.

Have a wonderful shabbos!

*Hugs*

Hot Chanie

Basking in the Limelight, and running for cover!

I must admit, I was all wrong about Shifra. She's gallantly defended me on her latest posting, and I now see I'm being noticed all over the blog-universe.

From Ask Shifra the great (as the Renegade Rebbitzen might say, my first best friend!) to the ultra-chic Orthomom to the cool girls at Jewbiquitous; the spotlight seems to have focused on me.

But that's probably not very tzniusdik to be talked about everywhere, is it?

With the Rabbonim going after blogs, and now the Gedolim going after fashion, I wonder why they don't pull out some of their wedding albums and take a good look at the pictures.

My Bubby and Zaidey were married in a very frum wedding (and why not?) with many esteemed rabbonim and gedolim present. Some of the rebbetzins at the time even wore shorter skirts than I wear today! Some of the women there didn't completely cover their hair! (A Shanda? A Boosha!)

And yet, they weren't ostracized by the tznius police today, or shot at with bleach guns in the streets of Yerushalayim.

Don't know what to say anymore....should I just stop going to the gym, dress like a frumpter, let myself go, and lower my self esteem? Is that what they want from me?

"Kol Kevuda Bas Melech Pinima" means I should be not seen, not heard, locked away, uneducated, and objectified to males to the point that I have no mind, and I'm purely a sexual satanic creature, or piece of meat, that needs to be kept under wraps?

The distance of the position of our gedolim to that Moslem preacher is not far apart.

He said because if she had not left the meat uncovered, the cat wouldn’t have snatched it. If you get a kilo of meat, and you don’t put it in the fridge or in the pot or in the kitchen but you leave it on a plate in the backyard, and then you have a fight with the neighbour because his cats eat the meat, you’re crazy. Isn’t this true? If you take uncovered meat and put it on the street, on the pavement, in a garden, in a park, or in the backyard, without a cover and the cats eat it, then whose fault will it be, the cats, or the uncovered meat’s? The uncovered meat is the disaster. If the meat was covered the cats wouldn’t roam around it. If the meat is inside the fridge, they won’t get it. If the woman is in her boudoir, in her house and if she’s wearing the veil and if she shows modesty, disasters don’t happen.”

I don't have a hechsher on my blog, but I guess it's only a matter of time before I'm forced to wear one on my tush. (And stop staring, or the tznius police will come after me, and not you)